Walking in the crisp autumn morning, I breathed in the fresh scent of foliage. Being in South Carolina I wasn’t expecting much of a seasonal transition, but have been pleasantly surprised now that the cooler weather has moved in. Fall has always been my favorite time of the year. I’ve always loved football games with the family, watching the colors slowly shift from greens to yellows, reds, and oranges, and finally being able to break out my favorite sweaters. Fall is a cozy season with something in it for everyone. As much as I could talk about the joys of Fall, I have to mention that one of the prettiest seasons comes with death. The beautiful colors seen in the foliage are only produced when the leaves begin to die. Trees are dropping their leaves in preparation for the harsh winter to come. However, I am in love with this juxtaposition. I think that dying is a beautiful thing and should be thought of in that way. Obviously it can be a painful experience for people since we want to hold on to our loved ones forever, but dying and death is a part of life that everyone must go through at some point. It represents so much and holds the importance in what we’ve been able to accomplish while on this earth.

​A few years back, my Aunt Julie passed away. She was a charismatic woman with so much joy and passion in every part of her. I loved her very much and it was a shock for everyone that she had died. While I would give anything to have Aunt Julie back, I can appreciate how much closer my family has become. We were all fairly close to begin with, but now I talk to my family members almost every week (ALL of them) instead of just at family gatherings. I’ve become more comfortable reaching out and seeing my aunts, uncles, and cousins when, before, I didn’t want to feel like a burden. We all came together in that time of trial and became stronger because of it. This is why I say death is a beautiful thing. Not only are we stronger for it, but Aunt Julie will never be forgotten. She will always be with us in memory and spirit, making me a better person as I strive to be as contagiously happy as she was. 

​While most people refer to death as a person dying, that is not always the case. Death can be in reference to almost anything and can be equally as challenging. This week my parents had to put down our dog, Aggie, of 15 years. No, I’m not comparing the death of my dog to the death of my Aunt, but it was still a challenging experience for all of us. The last about year and a half for Aggie has been a steady decline. We all looked at her with sympathy since she not only lost her hearing, but also part of her eyesight. She was in pain due to her increasing arthritis in her back legs as well, which did not help her case. We constantly joked at her expense when she would run to fetch a toy and just tumble to a stop when her back legs went out. However, being the loyal dog that she was, she would always return with her bone ready to play again. My parents have never had to put down a dog before, since the last dog we had died peacefully at one of his favorite kennels while we were on vacation. That being said, I can only imagine how difficult it was to see her finally close her eyes. I will miss her energetic and hilarious spirit, but I am glad that she’s finally not in pain (and that she at least survived all of my dad’s threats to kick her off the deck). 

​While the initial sting of death hurts, the aftermath is beauty. The Fall colors represent that in the most iconic way and, for that, it will remain my favorite season. Seeing the beauty in some of the most painful experiences is a difficult task, but is made easier with the help of friends and family. I thank Aunt Julie for her energetic, charismatic, and joyous personality that I strive to apply in my own life daily. I thank my dog Aggie for her uplifting goofiness that got me through the worst of times. Both have been influential to me and both are dearly missed. 
That being said, stay in touch, stay in mind, and stay in the moment! 

​I began this blog with the sole purpose of documenting my travels, not only for me but for those that would potentially be curious as to where I am or what I’m doing. That being said, I didn’t start it with the purest of intentions. What I thought would happen is that I could list out my experiences and not have to tell the same story over and over again in a social setting. Instead, people could be referred to my blog and the conversation could move on to more important things. What I’ve found, is that blogging is much more than simply listing places you’ve been or what you’ve eaten. It’s about reliving and reflecting on the most impactful moments; Self reflection. I don’t know about any of you, but self-reflection has never been a favorite past time of mine, mainly because I know some of my most embarrassing moments will come out. However, it is a much needed tool in today’s society - reflecting on both your actions and how your actions can impact other people. It is a way to better yourself, much like I think travel nursing is doing for me. I go to new places, meet new people, and throw myself in challenging situations constantly. Yes, it does get taxing, but I think it is making me a better person and shaping me into the young woman I want to be. 

​I haven’t posted in a long time mainly because I wanted a break from it all, including traveling. While I didn’t take a break from working, I thought eliminating my blogging would give me some much needed relaxation - one less responsibility. In reality, I wasn’t REALLY relaxing, I was simply avoiding self-reflection. To be sincere, I was being lazy. Since I’ve been away, I have completed 2 more assignments in 2 different states, took time off in Kansas, AND am officially one month into my new assignment in South Carolina. I’ve been all over the place it seems. However, during my time off I noticed that I was experiencing anxiety. I finally slowed down enough to listen to my body and it was not happy with me. Throughout my life I have been graced with the ability to handle high stress situations with little to no anxiety. So, when I was suddenly at my most relaxed and most vulnerable, I was having panic attacks. Looking back at it now, I think I wasn’t giving myself enough time to reflect on my experiences, accept the things I couldn’t change, and move past my mistakes. When I took the responsibility of work off the table, I finally was able to think of every stressor I had been avoiding for the last 6 months and BOY did it accumulate. Luckily for me, I was able to move past my anxiety rather quickly with the help of friends, family, and a packed summer. My experience did, however, force me to make some changes for a healthier way of life. Needless to say, blogging and self-reflection are back on the schedule and recommended for anyone and everyone!

​Right now I’m sitting at soon-to-be one of my favorite coffee shops. It’s noon, and I feel like my laziness knows no bounds, since my morning consisted of me going back to bed twice. At this new contract I took a day-shift position in Anderson, SC. I’ve been there for over a month now and I always imagined I would get more accustomed to waking up early. Long story short: I haven’t. My work day starts at 4:45 am and ends at 8:00 pm, consisting of eating at my desk when I can. That being said, this nursing shit is hard. I feel tired more often than not both on my work days and off-days. For some reason, other types of shifts feel easier to me. Tell me to be at work at 11 am and stay until 11 pm? I can do that. But make it 7? I’m over it. It doesn’t help that I have about a 40 minute commute. I truly love my commute thought because it gives me time to inhale my coffee and listen to podcasts. It’s the little things in life you have to appreciate, right?

​At this hospital my colleagues are EVERYTHING. They’re fun and inviting and answer all of my annoying questions without animosity. They’re the only reason this assignment isn’t hell. The facility is what we call a “pull to full.” That means any room available will have a patient in it. My nurse to staff ratio is 1:4, sometimes 1:5. Five patients to be responsible for in an emergency department is absolutely insane. When I originally signed this contract I asked specifically about the ratios because I wanted to know what I was getting myself into. I was told 1:4 unless you’re in fast track (taking care of easy patients that don’t require much attention) in which case I would be 1:5. However, I’ve quickly learned that I will have five patients in pretty much any section I work. I’m not trying to make the facility sound horrible because the care that patients receive is great. I like the doctors and nurses I work with, so this really is not a “let me bitch about my job” post. However, I want everyone to understand what frustrations I deal with on a daily basis. (I also want to validate me being lazy today… I deserve it lol) Nurse to patient ratios have been a nation-wide problem in this profession. This is not the first time or the last time this problem has been addressed in my nursing career. However, this is the first time I’ve encountered the problem head-on. 

​Safe ratios equate to safe patient care. In the emergency department we take care of multiple levels of acuity. For example, I could be taking care of an 80 year old septic patient with pneumonia, a 20 year old abdominal pain diagnosed with a UTI, and a 60 year old chest pain having an active heart attack at the same time. Because of this varying acuity, the nurse to patient ratio needs to reflect that. According to nationalnursesunited.org, safe ratios in the ER are as follows: 1:1 for trauma patients, 1:2 for critical care patients, and 1:3 for all other ER patients. Has this been the case in the last two and a half years I’ve traveled? nope. I typically have four patients. Regardless, five is way over the recommended limit and I think it is unfair to require workers to accommodate their career to this ratio. 

​I could absolutely go on about this topic, but my post is getting quite lengthy. I’ll be sure to make another post about this once I do more sound research on the topic. There are plenty of articles out there so I’ll be sure to find some great ones :). Aside from the ratios, I am LOVING Greenville and Anderson SC. It’s a fun area with plenty to do. I’ve made many friends and have been able to truly enjoy myself this contract. I will end with more promises to actually blog my experiences. I’ve done SO MUCH, so I’ll try not to get too overwhelmed with typing it out. 
In the meantime, stay smiling, stay true, and stay in touch. See ya’ll next time!